- Marilyn Yaquinto, PhD
- Jun 3, 2025
- 12 min read
I recently hosted a seminar exploring the stressors currently affecting so many of us, from politics to economics, and the toll they're taking on our minds and bodies. May, which just ended, is designated each year as Mental Health Awareness Month. But any lessons about how best to manage anxiety in the face of amped-up stressors remain vital all year round. They may even hold the key to how we humans thrive and not merely survive.
Are we hopelessly caught up in the current chaos of our times? Rising prices, political tensions, climate crises, religious strife, border hostilities, to name just a few stress monsters menacing our peace. It's increasingly too much to comprehend or to healthily manage as individuals.
Although each of us has our unique worries, experts advise us to first recognize the difference between ones we can and cannot control. Those looming over us from outside forces are usually out of our control. They also consume considerable amounts of our time and energy without bringing us much personal relief.
That's not to say we shouldn't do our part to help others, to pitch in with our communities, and to join groups dedicated to tackling global problems. But to do the David-versus-Goliath thing on a continual basis most often results in serious burnout. We not only fail to save the world, but seriously jeopardize our health and long-term mental and physical well-being.
Sustained chaos, like what we're currently experiencing on a global scale, is particularly dangerous. Most struggles that we're designed to handle are challenging enough. They also have a beginning, a middle, and an end. When a hurricane damages our town, the storm eventually passes, and the clean-up begins. After a loved one passes, we feel incredibly devastated but gradually start to heal.
The kind of chaos creeping into our psyches from ongoing news reports, political speeches, and social media follows no logic. It endlessly loops. It overwhelms us with volatile levels of uncertainty and keeps us on high alert with no end in sight.
One way to find immediate relief from the disturbing external noise is to go on a media diet. Perhaps choose healthier tidbits to ingest, reduced number of platforms to check, and scaled-back social media snacking. Team up with an accountability buddy to keep media use in check. Agree to stash the smart phones during dinner and cherish the time with new or old friends who deserve our full attention. Go old school every now and then. Hand deliver an invitation. Skip the emoji and hug someone for real. The more we can engage our bodies (and not just our fingers), the sharper we remain. Be the content creators of our own lives and give the agitated mediated world a rest.
Also understand what's going on in our brains when we feel overwhelmed. A sense that we're barely hanging on, like a hamster running on a wheel and going nowhere fast. Dealing with the demands of work, family dynamics, school schedules, tight budgets, and health scares often leave us feeling barely in control. To successfully navigate such daily stressors, especially when they're intensifying, is to examine and accept what it means to be of "a healthy mind in a healthy body."
What's an amygdala and how does it hijack us?
Neuroscience may not seem the answer to our problems when we're stuck in traffic and becoming agitated or in the middle of a panic attack. But it may provide insights worth investigating. They can explain how to better deal with chaos along with focusing on what matters most in our busy lives.
While each of us has individual circumstances that cause us concern, we humans share brains that are hard-wired to react to stress in similar ways.
Our "thinking" brain is called the pre-frontal cortex. It enables us to make thoughtful, rational choices. It's where we process moment-to-moment input from our surroundings, compare that to past experiences, and hopefully make sound decisions.
Then, there's the "emotional brain." The limbic system, and, in particular, the amygdala, which acts as our personal alarm. This part of the brain is the oldest. It dates back to when we were forced to run from predators to survive. React quickly, think later, once we were safe. Most of us rarely have to flee ferocious beasts in the wild anymore. But we still need the amygdala to signal to our brains when we need to flee a burning building or to fight off an attacker. In short, it's there to let us know when to fight, flight, or freeze to get out of danger.
Does the brain know the difference between threats we can or can't control? Does it know real danger from perceived threats (largely constructed in our heads)? The short answer is no. Not without our help and plenty of practice. And it may be the most valuable act of self-care we can do: learn to manage stress-related false alarms as if our lives depended on it, because they do.
Let's imagine a scenario that spooks most of us and triggers our amygdala's warning system. We agreed to give a best man or maid-of-honor speech in front of our friends and family. Or give a presentation on our expertise in front of potential clients. Whether there are 50 or 500 people staring back at us, most of us have a fear of public speaking, perhaps enough to cause us to panic. Our amygdala senses that threat and tries to run the show
As we approach the microphone, our palms perspire, our pulse quickens, and our saliva dries up. It's proof our limbic system has turned off some bodily functions to prepare others for bold, swift action.
One of the chemicals our brain is releasing is adrenaline.
The Mayo Clinic notes, "It makes the heart beat faster, causes blood pressure to go up and gives [us] more energy." Our bodies are ready to flee, fight, or freeze. And none of these responses are going to work well for the above scenario. What's happening and why can't we stop it? Who's setting off these alarms in our heads? Well, we are. Or at least our inner critic, that ever-vigilant, negative-spewing voice that lives in our heads. The one now stoking our fears and warning us that we're about to fail miserably or make utter fools of ourselves.
Without an intervention, we'll soon experience a full-blown amygdala hijacking.
The good news is that we can learn to stop such hijackings before they happen. With practice, we can learn to recognize when and why it's happening before things spiral out of control.
Getting control over being out of control
We can take effective action in the following ways:
Notice the physical signals.
Don't ignore the wisdom of our bodies. Headaches, elevated heart rate, butterflies in the stomach are among the messages our bodies are sending to signal something is happening. Becoming aware of how stressed, anxious, or worried we are is the first step to keeping our thinking brains online.
Buy time.
Take a few deep breaths to calm ourselves down. That allows us time to decode the warnings being transmitted and to interrogate their source. Do we recognize the handiwork of our inner critic, negative by nature and given to dark exaggeration versus reliable facts. With practice, we can learn to override harmful thoughts with more positive and affirming ones.
Practice positivity until it becomes a habit.
The formation of new habits often follows the 21/90 rule. The formula was introduced in the 1950s and tweaked over the years by psychologists and wellness practitioners. The idea is to stick to a goal for at least 21 days, which increases our chances of success. To continue to do so on a consistent basis for more than 90 days enables it to become integrated into our lifestyles.
The aptly named field of Positive Psychology focuses on developing our strengths in order to build resilience and to embrace change with both curiosity and optimism. Traditional psychology aims to remedy our problems, to concentrate on fixing what's wrong with us, along with treating other negative aspects of our experiences. It's more complicated that just a case of seeing the glass as half full or half empty. Both perspectives are valid when appropriately applied, the latter necessary for treating crippling trauma (PTSD) and other unresolved mental health conditions.
If we're ready to move on, though, the tools of Positive Psychology can help strengthen our resolve and help us become the best version of ourselves.
Its roots date back to the 1970s when researchers were trying to find out if there were links between income and happiness. Turns out what's more important is our ability to connect with others, savor pleasure, and develop a sense of gratitude. Positive Psychology techniques emphasize mindfulness, self-compassion, and positive thinking as pathways to fulfillment. And flow, which we'll get to in a second.
What is clear from the research is that the best way to beat the blues, manage our stress, or outsmart our brain's negative default is to stay positive. Sounds simple? In a way it is.
The first step out of the darkness and into the light may be to adopt a daily ritual that leans into positivity to bring relief. It helps quiet the noise and silence our inner critics, as well as the other voices of doom we're hearing. Maybe it's time to give peace a chance. At least for the sake of our stressed-out minds and overwrought bodies.
Self-care: the secret to staying sane
The worst part of amygdala hijackings is that such persistent alarms eventually take their toll on us. Our brains and bodies aren't being given the time to rest and restore between highly charged reactive responses to perceived threats. Sustained stress, anxiety, and worry overburden our mental and physical systems. They aren't designed to function in perpetual states of emergency. They need down time.
Those of us who are workaholics, worry warts, and perpetually anxious may develop conditions that become chronic. Digestive problems, heart disease and stroke, sleep issues, weight gain, and troubles with memory and focus. The truth is that many of these are preventable with self-care that manages stress before things get out of control.
Self-care means making ourselves and our well-being a priority on a daily basis. Just as we have to eat every day, we should also take care of our mental health each and every day. The problem is we don't usually put "self-care" on our calendars. Without being specific, as in just jotting down "stop worrying" after finishing breakfast, isn't going to get it done.
Often times when we do schedule a massage or a walk in the park, it's at the bottom of the to-do list. It's the first to get sacrificed when we get too busy. We tell ourselves we'll get to it if there's time, which we frequently seem to run out of. And only after we've taken care of everybody else.
For many of us, we're better at taking care of our cars than ourselves. We double-check that their batteries are charged, their gas tanks are full, and they're serviced regularly. To push the metaphor one step further: when was the last time we checked under our own hoods?
Taking care of ourselves doesn't have to be complicated or involve huge commitments of time and money. It can happen with just a few consistent practices. And most of them can effectively recharge our own batteries and provide the necessary benefits to restore and maintain our well-being.
Plan, honor, and keep self-care simple
It's important to keep three factors in mind when planning self-care. First schedule it like any other vital task. Second, consider it sacred and a promise we vow to keep as we would any other. Finally, keep it simple and consistent. Remember the 21/90 rule: 21 days to form a habit, 90 days to integrate it into a lifestyle.
The National Institute of Mental Health offers some familiar but proven suggestions.
Exercise - Make it natural, pick an activity we enjoy: walk the dog, tend a garden, dance while making dinner.
Eat healthy - Monitor caffeine and alcohol (but enjoy that glass of wine, it has proven health benefits).
Get sleep - Set a timer to wind down, then give ourselves permission to shut down.
Play - Read, listen to music, color/draw/paint, enjoy board games with friends.
Set priorities - Code their importance, schedule specific tasks, then let them go.
Practice gratitude - Write or say a few things at the day's end to be grateful for. Our brains can't wallow in what's negative while scanning the day for what was positive.
Stay connected - Stay in regular touch with people who love and support us. Reduce time spent with those who are toxic and make us feel lousy about ourselves.
Be positive - At the very least, talk nicer to ourselves than our inner critics.
While we're scheduling self-care, set aside a time to worry. Really.
As clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff explains, "Although it might sound counterintuitive, this technique is designed to help you reduce the amount of time you spend worrying about things beyond your control."
Start by setting a timer, then list all our worries on a piece of paper or into a voice recording. The process allows us to clear our heads and stop the endless ruminating that can trigger our alarm system. By scheduling when to worry, we dedicate a time to give our problems our undivided attention. And it allows our thinking brains to do most of the heavy lifting.
Plenty of tools exist to help us schedule self-care. Most of them are easy to adopt and cost-effective for the benefits they provide. And they can make a marked difference on our quality of life.
A few products on the market include pre-printed cards, lists, and eye-catching stickers to help schedule all forms of self-care. This one pictured here is from Etsy and costs less than $3. Other sites offer hundreds of ideas and formats to suit any style, from business-like to playfully color-coded.
We could also read a short poem every morning for a couple of minutes and meditate a couple more on the emotions it stirs up. Or listen to a favorite song for a few minutes and daydream about the happy memories it evokes. Or simply pray to the higher power that brings us divine comfort and solace.
Also available are phone apps for coping with a variety of mental health issues. The Anxiety & Depression Association of America offers MindShift and Breathe2Relax for free. Other subscriber options are available, including Calm. Its producers claim it's the #1 app for meditation and sleep, boasting of more than 4 million subscribers. It runs about $6 a month with an annual subscription and features daily affirmations, guided meditations, and "sleep stories" narrated by celebrities such as LeBron James and Maya Rudolph.
Healthline, a respected and free online health source, reviewed the app and cautioned that it's no substitute for the advice of a mental health professional. Yet, its reviewers confirmed Calm's documented benefits and widespread popularity, especially its sleep stories and content aimed at children.
Mindfulness and meditation
Both mindfulness and meditation too often sound like buzz words marketed as if they were fashion accessories. For many the thought of meditating sounds like something only avid practitioners should attempt. As one of those skeptics, I've come to appreciate that there is no right or wrong way to meditate. It's about dedicating at least five minutes to engage in some type of quiet reflection.
"You're not trying to turn off your thoughts or feelings. You're learning to observe them without judgment. And eventually, you may start to better understand them as well," notes Headspace, another popular phone app dedicated to wellness.
I've also tried other ways to sit quietly and contemplate. Some ways don't always fit the meditation label, but they're no less meditative, with all the related benefits. For the last week I've been watching a live lake cam of a loon sitting on her nest over at least one egg. There's very little action going on. Yet, I'm engrossed in watching and listening to her efforts to be a good mom-to-be. It just takes a few minutes to make me smile and I'm never sure why.
Like most of us, I don't have much time to relax by a lake and enjoy its sights and sounds. This is one way of making the lake come to me. It allows my mind to focus on something other than my troubles. And, ultimately, how we meditate or muse or ponder is as individual as its benefits are universal.
If the lotus position (seen above) seems too difficult or we're in a workplace without the floor space or privacy, take five minutes to watch a free YouTube video of a relaxing landscape or calming music.
Go with the flow
Finally, one of the most effective tools that Positive Psychology outlines for self-care, and the biggest bang for our buck, is to go with the flow.
Although it sounds familiar, in this context it means to find an activity that allows us to become completely engrossed in what we're doing, enough that time flies. Flow activities are those in which we're able to become so absorbed in the doing (and not the thinking), that we're able to block out distractions, with few extraneous thoughts interrupting our minds (and bodies).
Flow activities allow us to experience the joy of play and sense of satisfaction even for short bursts of time: 10 or 15 minutes. It's a sure-fire way to reduce our stress and manage our anxiety.
The key is not to simply veg out. We can only recharge our batteries doing an activity that engages the mind, not numbs it. It's called mindless TV for a reason!
To get the benefits of meditation or any flow activity, our brain must release what are known as "feel-good hormones" or neurotransmitters that bring about pleasant effects.
Stanford psychologist Matt Dixon describes our "default mode network" as the brain region "involved in rumination and construction of thoughts about the past and future." Yes, anxiety's home base! Meditation and other such practices raise our levels of feel-good hormones, which counteract the default mode and allow us to stop over-thinking and be "more into the present moment.”
The feel-good hormones include dopamine (the neurotransmitter of pleasure), serotonin (the neurotransmitter of happiness), and GABA (the neurotransmitter of calmness). Angela Lumba-Brown, co-director of the Stanford Brain Performance Center, describes the rise in levels of these chemicals when we're engaged in an "intentional practice to cultivate awareness using concentration." That includes meditation but also describes what happens when doing any flow activity.
Still wondering what such an activity looks like? Watch children at play. They're not aware they're doing self-care or trying to get a "dopamine rush." They're just having fun. They've mastered the act of immersion, surrendered to their curiosity, and are fully engaged. No worries about what else they should be doing. Just being, without hesitation or judgment.
If you need help with anything that was shared in this blog, or want to share your thoughts, book a discovery call below. Remember I'm here to listen and help you map your path forward.
